How do I deal with passive aggression in myself?

You did not slam a door or raise your voice. You just went a little quiet. The reply got slightly cold, the help came a little slower, the comment carried an edge you could deny if asked. Later you realise you were angry, and the anger found its way out sideways, through silence, sarcasm, forgetting, or doing the thing badly. Recognising this pattern in yourself takes real honesty, and noticing it at all is to your credit. It usually means anger was never something you were allowed to show directly, so it learned to travel underground.

Vedic astrology offers a gentle, clear-eyed lens here. Your chart describes how your anger wants to move and what happens when it cannot move openly. This is a tendency it shows, not a judgement on you.

Suppressed Mars finding indirect routes

Mars (Mangal, the planet of heat, drive, and direct force) is meant to express anger cleanly and openly. When Mars is suppressed in the chart, hemmed in by placement, or simply by a life where direct anger felt unsafe, that energy does not vanish. It finds indirect routes instead, leaking out as coldness, delay, or a barbed joke. Look at your own Mars. If it sits restricted or under pressure, the sideways expression makes sense as energy seeking any exit it can find.

Ketu's hidden channels

Ketu (the south node, a shadow point linked to suppression and the unseen) deepens this pattern. Where Ketu touches your anger, the feeling can go underground entirely, hidden even from yourself until it slips out indirectly. Ketu does not announce. It withdraws and conceals. A strong Ketu influence can leave you genuinely unaware you are angry until the passive expression has already happened. Seeing this helps you catch the feeling earlier, before it leaks.

Why direct anger felt unsafe

Passive aggression is almost always learned. Somewhere, open anger was punished, dismissed, or dangerous, so a younger you found a safer route. This was intelligent at the time. The cost now is that the people around you feel the anger without being able to address it, and you carry a feeling you never fully released. Understanding where the pattern came from replaces self-criticism with compassion, which is the ground real change grows from.

Timing and the suppressed season

A Ketu or Saturn period can press anger further underground for a season, making the sideways pattern more pronounced. This is timing, not a fixed trait. Knowing you are in a phase that favours suppression helps you watch for the leak with more patience.

The honesty of direct expression

The way out is gentle honesty. Start by catching the feeling early: when you notice yourself going cold or sarcastic, pause and ask, am I actually angry. Naming it privately is half the work. Then practice small, safe directness, a simple I felt upset when that happened, said plainly. Give Mars a clean physical outlet too, exercise or brisk movement, so the energy does not have to leak. A few repetitions of the Hanuman Chalisa support healthy, courageous expression for many. Direct anger, spoken kindly, is far less harmful than the sideways kind, and it tends to leave you lighter.

Learning to let anger move openly is a real freedom, and it is learnable. If you would like to see how your Mars and Ketu shape this pattern, an AstroMedha reading can apply this to your exact birth details.